Being Honest With Yourself About the Music You Play

Are you playing for expression, or to prove something?

The trap of “high-level” music is that it can make you feel inadequate for playing what you actually enjoy. You might find yourself learning complex styles not because you love them, but because other people have said it is the highest level, or because the market respects it, or because you think knowing it makes you seem more professional.

Do you actually love that style of music, or are you just trying to prove that you are a strong musician? Playing to prove something to other people is exhausting. Playing for expression because the music feels real and comfortable to you can be more fun.

You can take the tools without adopting the whole lifestyle

If you go to music school or study formally, you are often immersed in jazz, blues, or classical traditions. There are also musicians who grew up from childhood completely soaked in those environments—their families or communities lived and breathed that music, and they genuinely love it. There is immense value in those traditions: the harmony, rich voicings, improvisational logic, and technical discipline.

But there are countless other styles out there too, from folk, rock, R&B, and pop to electronic, ambient, metal, and diverse regional traditions. You can learn from jazz, blues, or classical without having to become a purist or adopt that entire scene and lifestyle.

You do not have to love everything about a genre to learn from it and use it. Maybe you love jazz voicings and chord substitutions, but you want to use them in indie pop songs. Maybe you love blues phrasing or classical counterpoint, but your personality does not fit the jam session or recital hall. You can treat every genre as a toolkit: take the specific techniques, chords, or ideas that speak to you, and leave the rest behind.

You do not have to love every genre

There is a common idea that to be a “real” musician, you must study and love every single genre. Working session musicians certainly benefit from knowing a bit of everything to adapt to different gigs. And people who grew up deeply immersed in a particular tradition naturally carry a deep connection to it.

However, everyone comes from different backgrounds, life experiences, and musical environments. Having different tastes is natural. If you just love three-chord pop, singer-songwriter folk, rap, or any other music, that is completely cool. Maybe something really speaks to you like the lyrics, vibe, articulation, or other stuff. You do not need to force yourself to pretend you love a genre just because someone said it is more “advanced” or prestigious.

What do you actually want your life to look like?

The music you want to make can be tied closely to the daily lifestyle you want to live. If you haven't yet, it is worth asking what kind of musician you want to be. There is no single template for what being a musician looks like today:

• The live band & touring artist: Van tours, late-night venues, open mics, and jam sessions. Great if you thrive on high social energy and life on the move.
• The concert hall & theater musician: Orchestras, chamber ensembles, and musical theater pit bands with set schedules, disciplined reading, and acoustic focus.
• The content creator & online educator: Sharing covers, production breakdowns, lessons, and original pieces on YouTube, TikTok, or Instagram from home.
• The session player & producer: Tracking parts, creating beats, and collaborating with artists.
• The media & game composer: Writing instrumental cues and soundtrack music for indie games, films, podcasts, or video backgrounds.
• The local & event musician: Wedding bands, church/worship groups, community gigs, and private teaching, steady, community-rooted music without constant travel.
• The bedroom songwriter & release artist: Writing, recording, and uploading music to streaming platforms entirely on your own terms.
• The hobbyist: Playing after school/work purely for relaxation, personal joy, or singing around a living room with family and friends.
• The music teacher: Teaching music to kids or adults, either privately or in a school, and helping them learn to play.
• The music therapist: Using music to help people improve their physical, emotional, or cognitive health.
• The musicologist: Studying the history and theory of music.
• Others: There are many more paths, and you can create your own as well.

If you hate touring and late nights, aiming for a touring band will feel exhausting even if you succeed. If you love staying home, writing, and recording, building a home-studio flow or making online videos might fit your personality much better. Be honest about what feels comfortable, sustainable, and real to you.

Finding your voice (and letting it change)

It is also completely okay if you don't know what you like yet. You do not need to declare your entire musical identity upfront. Give yourself permission to simply explore: learn a song from one genre today, try a riff from another tomorrow, and see what feels fun and natural. Exploration is how you discover what you actually like in the first place.

Take everything you learn, the techniques, the theories, the bits of different genres you enjoyed exploring, and put it into the music you like. Eventually, that combination becomes your unique voice.

And remember: you do not have to be set in stone forever. People change, and your tastes will change with you. You might really love a certain genre or style for a specific period of your life, and then find yourself drawn to something entirely different a few years later. You don't have to stay locked into who you were yesterday. Let your curiosity lead, and stay honest with yourself about what you actually want to make right now.